Thursday, July 30, 2009

Coffee Fail

I knew my morning was going to be a crapfest when I failed at making coffee...twice.

First, Nic calls me at like 4 in the morning from Egypt to remind me to wire him money since he lost his ATM card. I briefly consider letting him starve as retribution for calling me at that hour. Instead I wake up at 7, put on the coffee pot, and try to use Western Union's website. The stupid thing is loading so slow you would think I had dial-up and AOL and it was 1998.

While I wait for a page to load, I go to get my coffee, throw in some stevia (my attempt at using less artificial sweetener, because stevia is supposedly an herb, and obviously all herbs are good for you), and some milk. And the milk curdles. I throw out the coffee and the carton of milk, and put the coffee pot back on for take two.

I go back to the computer to continue with the Western Union website. I get all the way to Step 5 Receipt, but there is no receipt. So then I have to call Western Union, at which point they tell me the system cancelled my money order because I entered something wrong, and I need to start over. Obviously this is going to be a morning with a lot of take twos.

I go back for my coffee. I have another carton of milk in the fridge, so I grab that and the stevia. The milk curdles AGAIN. Seriously. I throw the chunky coffee down the sink. Whatever. I'm having a Diet Coke, so much for cutting back on those artificial sweetners.

Anyway, long story short, it took three tries to wire the money and one more phone call. It took me three tries to leave my building because I forgot stuff/dropped my rent check in the hallway somewhere. And it took my 20 minutes to get my bagel with cream cheese at Dunkin Donuts (vehicle for delivering the remainder of my smoked salmon to my belly, I didn't want it to go bad while in Chicago).

Really too much to handle without my coffee.

P.S. I Just realized this is my second post about coffee on this blog.


muddywaters said...

I laughed and had to read it two times. I think, I enjoyed your misery a bit too much. I'm glad I'm not the only one who struggles in the morning. I try to not do anything before 10:00 that requires too many brainwaves. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well because I'm a teacher who works with teenagers. However, it is easy to stay a couple steps ahead of teens in the morning.

The Single Gal said...

Have I mentioned how glad I am that you're back? Well, I am. This was hysterical-

Stevia just isn't the same, I tried it too. I actually just use turbinado sugar now - you don't have to use much, it tastes SO much better than chemical crap & it's all natural!

Kate said...

The misery is only worth while if it serves a purpose. Glad it made you both laugh!